Alright, my fabulous pleasure seekers, today we are diving deep—literally—into a topic that will quite literally lift you to new heights: how to ride a dildo. Whether you're a first-timer nervously eyeing that glorious shaft like it's your first rollercoaster ride, or a seasoned pro looking to fine-tune your technique like a master equestrian, I got you covered.
This isn't just about bouncing up and down and calling it a day—oh no, honey, this is an art form. This is about control, rhythm, finding that perfect angle, and discovering just how much pleasure your body is capable of.
Riding a dildo is a power move, a confidence boost, and a full-body experience wrapped into one. So, get ready to saddle up, take the reins, and unlock orgasms that’ll leave your legs shaking and your soul singing. I’ve got all the tips, tricks, and cheeky insights you need for a toe-curling, bed-shaking, pleasure-packed ride.
Setting the Scene for the Ultimate Dildo Ride
Before you straddle that magnificent piece of silicone, let’s make sure everything is primed for pleasure.
1. Set the Mood
This isn’t just about hopping on and going at it like a mechanical bull—sensuality is an experience! Dim the lights, put on a sexy playlist, slip into lingerie or nothing at all—your call, and mist yourself with that perfume that makes you feel irresistible. Creating an ambiance makes the entire experience feel intentional and extra indulgent.
2. Pick the Right Dildo
Not all dildos are created equal, honey. Consider size, material, and flexibility. If you’re into hands-free fun, a suction cup dildo is your bestie. Do your research and find the one (or two, or three—I don’t judge). Explore Valm's catalog of realistic dildos.
3. Foreplay is Non-Negotiable
You wouldn’t just sprint into a workout without stretching, right? (Or maybe you would, but let’s not do that here.) Foreplay is the delicious appetizer before the main course, so don’t skimp on it.
Start slow—tease yourself by running your fingers over your body, paying special attention to your nipples, inner thighs, and that sensitive lower belly area.
Try a warm-up session with a bullet vibrator or a feather-light touch to your clit.
If you like temperature play, use an ice cube to trace a tantalizing path from your neck down to your navel. A little edging—bringing yourself close to orgasm and backing off—can build insane levels of arousal, making your eventual ride all the more mind-blowing.
The wetter and more turned on you are, the smoother, more pleasurable, and electrifying your ride will be.
4. How to Use A Dildo: Lube is Your Best Friend
Even if you’re naturally drenched like a summer thunderstorm, lube is still a game-changer. It reduces friction, makes insertion effortless, and intensifies sensations.
And if you want the absolute best, let me introduce you to Valm’s lube—a silky, long-lasting formula that enhances every glide without feeling sticky or tacky. Whether you’re into water-based lube for universal toy safety or a high-quality silicone lube option for extra slickness, Valm’s got you covered.
Just make sure your lube is compatible with your toy—silicone lube and silicone dildos are a no-go (unless you like ruining your expensive toys).
5. Clean Up After the Magic
Once you’ve had your earth-shattering orgasm (or two, or three), show your toy some love by thoroughly cleaning it—check out our How to Clean a Dildo guide for a step-by-step breakdown. Wash it thoroughly with an antibacterial sex toy cleaner, dry it, and store it properly. Hygiene is sexy!
And while we're at it, don’t forget about yourself—hop in the shower, revel in that post-orgasm glow, and maybe even treat yourself to a luxurious body oil or lotion. Hydration and self-care don’t stop at your skin; if you've gone hard, your muscles might appreciate a little post-riding stretch. And if you’re really feeling yourself, maybe round two is just around the corner!
How To Ride A Dildo: Solo-Play Like A Pro
Riding solo? Oh, honey, this is your time to shine. No distractions, no pressure—just you, your body, and your favorite toy on a one-way trip to bliss.
First things first: positioning is everything.
If you’re using a suction cup dildo, secure it to a flat surface like the shower wall, a chair, or even the headboard (yes, really). You can read our latest blog post to discover how to use a suction-cup dildo like a pro, plus even more creative positions to try.
Want more control? Straddle it on a pillow or a firm bed and experiment with grinding, rocking, or full-on bouncing.
Your pleasure, your rules.
Play with different speeds—start slow, tease yourself, then build up until you're on the edge of explosion.
And don’t just rely on penetration—incorporate a vibrator on your clit, stroke your thighs, or even use a mirror to watch yourself (because, that’s hot).
When you ride solo, you are both the tease and the payoff, the giver and the receiver—so make it count.
How To Ride A Dildo: Playing With a Partner
Why ride solo when you can bring a partner in for extra fun? Adding a dildo into your partnered play can be a game-changer, whether you're using it for foreplay, double penetration, or as the main event. Here’s how some of the best way to ride a dildo and how my clients have taken their dildo play to the next level:
Blow & Bounce
Ride your dildo while giving your partner oral—double the pleasure, double the fun. One of my clients, Jess, said she loves this move because the rhythmic bouncing naturally syncs up with her oral technique, creating an incredible feedback loop of pleasure for both partners. “It’s like riding waves of ecstasy together,” she told me.
Dildo & Anal Play
Use your dildo vaginally while your partner penetrates you anally. This is an all-star move for those who love deep, full sensations. One couple I know, Alex and Jordan, swears by it. “The dildo gave me the fullness I crave while Jordan worked his magic in the back,” Alex told me. Their advice? Lube up, go slow, and communicate!
Strap-On Fun
Let your partner wear a strap-on and ride them in cowgirl or reverse cowgirl. This works for all genders and is an amazing way to explore dominance, submission, or just experience penetration in a whole new way. A client, Sam, told me that using a strap-on with their girlfriend for the first time felt like a revelation: "I finally understood why people love penetration so much—it was mind-blowing!"
Mutual Dildo Play
If you and your partner both enjoy penetration, why not ride your respective dildos while watching each other? This can be incredibly erotic and can heighten the anticipation for when you finally come together.
The Hands-Free Tag Team
Stick a suction cup dildo to a flat surface, have your partner lay back, and take turns riding it while teasing each other. One of my clients called this “the ultimate tease game” because the sight of her partner taking control and grinding made her even more eager for her turn.
Bringing a dildo into partnered play isn’t just about adding another toy—it’s about discovering new dynamics, deepening pleasure, and making intimacy even hotter. Communicate with your partner, try new things, and remember: the goal is mutual ecstasy!
How To Use a Dildo: Dildo Play for Everyone
Dildos aren’t just for people with vaginas! If you have a prostate—or simply want to explore an anal dildo ride—a dildo can be your best-kept secret for mind-blowing orgasms. And regardless of gender or anatomy, everyone deserves toe-curling pleasure.
Start Small
A beginner-friendly prostate dildo or plug is perfect for those new to anal penetration. If you’re playing solo or with a partner, take your time getting used to the sensation. One of my non-binary clients, River, shared that starting with a slim toy helped them ease into anal play without discomfort.
Use Plenty of Lube
The anus doesn’t self-lubricate, so be generous with the lube—water-based for easy cleanup or silicone-based for long-lasting slipperiness. Need help choosing the right option? Check out our guide on water-based vs. silicone lube for a deeper look. My client Leo, swears by warming lubes to add an extra layer of sensation.
Find the P-Spot (or A-Spot!)
For those with prostates, inserting the dildo and angling it toward the front wall of the rectum is the key to hitting that magic P-spot. But let’s not forget the A-spot—an area deeper in the vaginal canal that can also create waves of deep pleasure. Experiment with angles and pressure to see what makes your body sing.
Experiment With Thrusting & Vibration
The P-spot and A-spot love firm, rhythmic pressure, and adding vibration can send your orgasms into orbit. One of my clients, Jules, a queer woman, shared that her go-to move is alternating between deep thrusts and slow, grinding circles to keep the build-up intense.
Dildo play isn’t just about anatomy—it’s about what feels good for you. Whether you’re using a dildo for anal, vaginal, or dual penetration, there’s no wrong way to explore. Play, discover, and most importantly, enjoy yourself!
Own Your Pleasure
Riding a dildo is about more than just physical pleasure—it’s an act of self-love, exploration, and total confidence.
It’s about taking your pleasure into your own hands (or hips) and owning every electrifying, thigh-shaking moment of it. Whether you’re flying solo or getting a partner in on the action, whether you’re experimenting with sizes, textures, or even different types of lube—your pleasure is yours to claim, guilt-free and gloriously indulgent.
And listen, don’t be afraid to mix it up! The world of dildos is vast, and your body is an ever-changing landscape of sensations waiting to be explored.
One night you might crave slow, deep grinding; the next, you’re bouncing like a rodeo champ. There’s no wrong way to do it—just your way.
So, go forth, my pleasure-seeking royalty. Grab that lube, find your perfect angle, and ride that silicone stallion like the confident, pleasure-hungry badass you are. And if you discover a new trick that blows your mind? Well, you know where to find me—spill the details, babe!
Now go forth, lube up, and ride that silicone dildo like the magnificent pleasure queen (or king) you are!
