Dildos are amazing. Whether you’re solo, partnered, or somewhere in between, these magical little (or big) tools have been turning average nights into unforgettable adventures for centuries. But, if you’re new to the dildo game, it can feel like walking into a very exciting, slightly overwhelming buffet of options. Do you go for sleek and smooth? Realistic dildo and veiny? Glass? Metal? Suction cups? It’s a lot to process.
Don’t worry—I’ve been there.
I still remember the first time I bought a dildo. I was bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and determined to find my perfect match. Let me just say, I made mistakes, so you don’t have to. By the time you finish this best dildos guide for beginners, you’ll not only know your options—you’ll be ready to strut into your nearest sex shop (or click “add to cart” online) with the confidence of someone who knows exactly what they’re looking for.
What Is a Dildo?
Alrighty! Quick lesson: a dildo is a sex toy designed for penetration. Simple, right? But here’s the twist—they’re so much more than that. Dildos can be a pathway to self-discovery, an addition to your partnered play, or even just a really aesthetically pleasing bedside table conversation starter (yes, some of them are that pretty).
Dildos aren’t limited by gender, relationship status, or experience level. They’re for anyone and everyone who wants to explore what their body can do—and trust me, your body can do a lot.
Now, let’s clear up the myths about dildos:
- “Dildos Are Only for Single People”: Wrong. Plenty of couples use dildos to spice things up or add variety to their sex lives.
- “Dildos Are All About Penetration”: Not true. You can use them for external stimulation, temperature play, or even as a paperweight if that’s your vibe.
Now that we’ve established that dildos are for everyone and everything, let’s talk about picking one. Because let me tell you, choosing your first dildo is like picking out a tattoo: you’ll remember your first one forever, so make it count.
Valm Dildos
- 100% Silicone
- Custom Colors
- Dual & Triple Density
- Made in the USA
Material Matters
Not all dildos are created equal, and the material is where things get serious.
- Silicone: This is the queen-level. It’s body-safe, non-porous (so no bacteria parties), and super easy to clean. If you’re asking me, this is where most beginners should start.
- Glass and Metal: Hear me out—these might sound intimidating, but they’re sleek, non-porous, and perfect for temperature play. Ever thought about popping a glass dildo in the freezer? It’s a game-changer. Just make sure you’re ready for the firmness because these bad boys don’t bend.
- TPE/TPR/PVC: Cheap and cheerful, but also kinda sketchy. These porous materials can harbor bacteria and degrade over time. If you’re into a short fling, fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Size: It’s Not About Going Big
Everyone loves to joke about size, but when it comes to dildos, it’s personal. And by personal, I mean deeply personal.
- Small and Mighty: Perfect for beginners or anyone who isn’t looking to reenact a porn scene right out of the gate.
- Mid-Size Magic: This is the Goldilocks zone for most people—not too big, not too small.
- The Big League: Look, I’m not here to kink-shame. If you want to swing for the fences, you do you. Just remember: lube is your best friend.
I made the mistake of going for something massive on my first try, and let me tell you, my ambitions were not aligned with my anatomy. Start small, test your limits, and work your way up.
Texture and Shape: The Fun Stuff
Do you want smooth and simple, or something with ridges and veins for extra stimulation? Maybe you’re feeling bold and want to try a curved design for G-spot or P-spot play.
Pro Tip: If you’re not sure, start smooth. You can always upgrade to something textured later, but once you’ve got a dildo with veins, there’s no ignoring them.
Special Features: Because Why Not?
The dildo world has come a long way from your grandma’s…wait, let’s not go there. These days, dildos come with all kinds of bells and whistles:
- Suction Cups: For hands-free fun wherever you want—yes, even the shower.
- Harness-Compatible: Strap it in and take it for a spin with a partner.
- Dual Density Dildo: These dildos have a firm core and a softer outer layer for a more realistic feel. Think of it as the sourdough bread of dildos—firm on the outside, soft on the inside.
Accessories and Alternatives: Because Extra Is Always Better
Listen, a dildo is a whole experience and extra is always better. So, let’s talk accessories– because yes, your dildo deserves its own entourage.
- Lube: If you think you don’t need lube, I need you to rethink your life choices. Lube is a must for beginners. For silicone dildos, stick to water-based lube unless you want to commit toy homicide.
- Harnesses: Ready to strap it on and take charge? Harnesses let you live your pegging or power-play fantasies like the boss you are. Plus, they’re amazing for partner play.
- Storage Bags: Okay, it sounds boring, but hear me out. You don’t want your dildo rolling around in a drawer collecting lint like some neglected sock. Treat it like royalty—give it a bag. And here’s the real reason: it keeps things discreet. Trust me, you do NOT want to explain to your maid, your parents, or anyone else why that sparkly, anatomically correct silicone masterpiece is chilling next to your socks. I learned this the hard way.
- Toy Cleaners: Warm water and soap are great, but if you’re feeling fancy, grab a specialized toy cleaner. Your dildo will thank you (and so will your body).
Not sold on dildos yet? That’s fine; I’m not here to kink-shame. Dip your toes into the pleasure pool with vibrators, wands, or anal plugs. But trust me—once you’ve met the right dildo, you’ll never look back.
Long-Term Care: Treat Your Dildo Like the Queen It Is
You wouldn’t eat off a dirty plate, so don’t play with a dirty dildo.
Here are a few rules:
- Clean It, Babe: Wash it after every use, because nobody—and I mean nobody—wants a crusty dildo. Use warm water and mild soap, or go all out with a fancy toy cleaner. Hygienic and bougie.
- Inspect for Drama: If your dildo’s looking rough—cracks, tears, or discoloration—it’s time to retire it. No one wants a breakup, but sometimes it’s necessary.
- Storage Matters: Don’t just toss it in your sock drawer like a heathen. Store it in a clean, dry place, preferably in a bag or case. And keep it away from other toys made of different materials—they can melt together, and trust me, that’s not the kind of sticky situation you want.
Taking care of your dildo isn’t just maintenance—it’s a love language. Treat it right, and it’ll keep you coming back for more (literally).
First-Time Dildo Use: What to Expect
Using a dildo for the first time can feel like a mix of excitement and “What if I do this wrong?” Spoiler alert: you won’t. Here’s how to set yourself up for success:
- Set the Mood: Light some candles, put on your favorite playlist, and get comfortable. This is your time.
- Lube, Lube, Lube: I cannot stress this enough. For silicone dildos, stick to water-based lube—silicone lube and silicone toys do not mix.
- Go Slow: There’s no rush. Explore how it feels, try different angles, and let your body adjust.
Using a Dildo with a Partner: Two’s a Party, Three’s an Adventure
Look, dildos aren’t just for solo flights. Bring your partner into the mix and watch the magic happen. If you’re new to the world of shared toys, let me guide you like the kinky fairy godmother I was born to be.
- Communicate: Don’t just whip it out like a surprise piñata. Talk about what you both want to try. Consent and curiosity are sexy as hell.
- Switch It Up: If you’re rocking a strap-on, let your partner take the reins for a spin. Trust me, switching roles isn’t just fun—it’s a bonding experience. (And let’s be real, you’ll probably look hot doing it.)
- Mix and Match: Why stop at one toy? Pair your dildo with a vibrator, nipple clamps, or whatever floats your kinky little boat. Variety isn’t just the spice of life—it’s the secret to mind-blowing orgasms.
Pro tip: Seeing your partner’s reaction to a dildo? Chef’s kiss. 10/10 would recommend.
My Beginner Picks: From Humble to Extravagant
When I started exploring the world of dildos, I kept it simple. My first love? A realistic single-density silicone dildo—6 inches in length, 1.5 inches in diameter. Hum, yummy. Not too big, not too small, juuust right for a beginner. It taught me how to ease in, explore, and figure out what worked for my body.
But once I found my rhythm? Oh, honey, I leveled up. Enter: my extravagant red triple-density dildo. Why red? It’s my favorite color, and honestly, it made me feel like a sex goddess. Triple density dildo added that extra layer of squishy, lifelike magic, and I bought it just for the fun of it. Spoiler: worth it.
Why You Need a Dildo (or Five)
Owning a dildo isn’t just about orgasms (though, let’s be real, that’s a big part of it). It’s about exploring your body, discovering what feels good, and owning your pleasure. There’s something incredibly empowering about knowing exactly what you like and being able to ask for it—or give it to yourself.
The world of dildos is vast, exciting, and a little overwhelming at first—but it’s worth it. Take your time, do your research, and most importantly, have fun with it. Whether you’re starting small or diving straight into the deep end, the perfect dildo is out there waiting for you. Valm dildos are the ultimate beginner’s choice. They’re body-safe, approachable, and designed with comfort and ease in mind—perfect for dipping your toes into the world of pleasure without feeling overwhelmed.
So what are you waiting for? Grab some lube, pick your pleasure, and get ready to meet your new best friend. Trust me—you won’t regret it.
