Alright, we all know this—relationships can hit the snooze button sometimes. Same takeout order, same Netflix rotation, same bedroom choreography that, let’s face it, might be getting stale. That’s where sex toys come in to save the day. Adding toys to your relationship? Absolute game-changer. They’re not just about orgasms (though, let’s be honest, those are a perk). They’re about connection, exploration, and turning “same old” into “OMG, what just happened?”
The first time I brought up sex toys with a partner, it was over tacos (of course). “What if we tried… one of those things?” I mumbled, blushing into my salsa. There was an awkward pause, followed by a laugh. But soon, we were scrolling through toy options together, giggling like kids picking out fireworks. Spoiler alert: fireworks definitely happened later that night.
If you’re curious but unsure where to start, this guide has you covered—from picking your first toy as a couple to turning it into an unforgettable night.
Why Should Couples Play with Toys?
Adding sex toys isn’t just about spicing things up in bed (though they do that spectacularly). They’re about getting to know each other on a whole new level, opening up conversations, and maybe even discovering things you didn’t know you liked.
- Boost Intimacy: You know that rush you get when you try something new together—like traveling to a new city or tackling a cooking class? Toys offer the same vibe but way hotter. Exploring pleasure together builds trust, opens up communication, and turns your bedroom into a judgment-free zone where anything goes.
- Shake Up the Routine: Even the happiest couples can fall into habits. If your go-to move has started feeling like the missionary version of your favorite song on repeat, toys can add a fresh remix to the mix. Think of them as the “shuffle” button for your sex life.
- Break Down Barriers: Life throws curveballs: mismatched libidos, stress, post-baby changes, long-distance stretches—you name it. Toys can help bridge those gaps, offering creative solutions to keep the spark alive. Whether it’s a wearable vibrator during video calls or a cock ring for that extra boost, there’s something for every challenge.
Couple Sex Toys Lineup: What to Try First
Walking into the world of sex toys can feel like stepping into a candy store where everything buzzes, glows, or comes with a suction cup. Here’s your beginner’s guide to the essentials.
- Couples Vibrators: Wearable vibrators that keep both of you buzzing during the action. They’re discreet, effective, and basically the overachievers of the toy world.
- Bullets and Wands: Compact, versatile, and perfect for foreplay or spicing up the main event. A bullet was my first toy, and let me tell you—it packs a punch in all the right ways.
- Remote-Controlled Toys: Want to add some spice to date night? A remote-controlled vibe lets one partner take charge, whether you’re across the table at dinner or snuggled on the couch. Bonus points if you can keep a straight face while the other holds the controls. Imagine surprising your partner during a night out with a discreet, app-controlled vibrator. The anticipation alone will have you both grinning like you’re sharing a naughty secret.
- Cock Rings: These stretchy lifesavers help maintain erections longer while adding extra sensation for both partners. Plus, some vibrate for a double feature.
- Dildos: Dildos are here to take things from “nice” to “oh my god, YES.” Start simple with a 6-inch dildo if you’re just testing the waters, or go bold with 8-inch, 10-inch, or even 12-inch options if you’re feeling adventurous. And for the gold standard in satisfaction? Dual-density and triple-density dildos bring that lifelike, oh-so-satisfying texture that’ll leave you wondering why you waited so long. Oh, and the colors—why not grab a hot pink for drama or a fun purple just because you can? Whatever your vibe, there’s a perfect match waiting to turn up the heat. There’s an entire selection at Valm.
- Anal Toys: Anal play isn’t as intimidating as it sounds, especially if you start small. Beginner-friendly plugs are perfect for easing in (pun intended). Add a little lube, and you’re golden.
- Bondage Kits: Curious about blindfolds and cuffs? A starter kit can take things up a notch without feeling overwhelming. Trust me, nothing builds anticipation like a little sensory play.
Valm Dildos
- 100% Silicone
- Custom Colors
- Dual & Triple Density
- Made in the USA
Factors to Consider When Choosing a Toy
Picking the perfect toy is like finding the right pair of jeans: it’s gotta fit, feel good, and make you want to strut around the house.
- Comfort Levels: If one of you is nervous, start small. A bullet vibrator or simple cock ring is a great gateway toy.
- Materials: Silicone is the gold standard—body-safe, smooth, and easy to clean. Avoid porous materials unless you love bacteria parties (you don’t).
- Stimulation Goals: Want external thrills? Internal fireworks? Both? Decide together what kind of sensations you’re craving.
- Lube Love: Water-based lubes are your go-to for silicone toys, while silicone-based lubes are perfect for glass or metal toys. And seriously, never skip the lube.
Water-Based Lube
- Natural feel
- Long-lasting
- Neutral pH levels
- Body-safe ingredients
Myths About Toys: Let’s Set the Record Straight
There’s a lot of misinformation out there about sex toys, so let’s bust some myths:
- “Toys replace partners.” Nope! They’re there to enhance the experience, not take over. Think of them as your tag-team partner in pleasure.
- “Toys are for women only.” False. Plenty of toys cater to men, non-binary folks, and couples of all kinds. Pleasure is for everyone.
- “Toys mean something’s wrong.” Actually, trying new things is a sign of a healthy, adventurous relationship.
Tips for Bringing Toys Into the Bedroom
Introducing toys into your relationship might feel a little intimidating at first, but it doesn’t have to be. With open communication and the right approach, it can be a positive and exciting experience. Here’s how to make the process smooth and enjoyable:
- Talk About It: Start with an open, casual conversation. Bring it up during a relaxed moment and say something like, “I read about couples using toys to explore together—what do you think?” or “I’ve been curious about trying something new. Would you be open to it?” You could also share this article or product you found online to help spark the discussion. Keep the tone positive and let it feel like a shared decision, without any pressure.
- Set the Scene: When it’s time to introduce a toy, create a comfortable and relaxed environment. Dim the lights, play some music you both enjoy, and set aside time without distractions. The focus should be on connecting with each other and exploring something new together, not achieving perfection. A calm, inviting setting will help both of you feel at ease.
- Start Slow: If this is your first time using a toy together, begin with something simple and non-intimidating, like a small bullet vibrator. Use it to explore areas like the neck, inner thighs, or other erogenous zones, and see what feels good. Starting slow allows you both to get comfortable and adjust to the new sensations without feeling overwhelmed.
- Embrace the Experience: Remember that trying something new together is as much about the experience as the result. If something feels awkward or doesn’t work as expected, it’s okay to pause and laugh it off. These moments can help you build trust and comfort with each other. The key is to enjoy the journey and learn together.
- Reflect and Adjust: Afterward, take time to talk about the experience. Share what you enjoyed, what you’d like to try next, and how it made you feel. This reflection not only helps you refine your preferences but also strengthens your connection by encouraging open communication.
Your Turn to Explore
Adding toys to your relationship isn’t just about orgasms (though you’ll have plenty). It’s about deepening your connection, exploring together, and having a damn good time while you’re at it.
So grab your favorite lube, pick a toy, and get ready to level up your love life. Because trust me—once you start, you’ll never look back.
