The 7 Most Common Sexual Fantasies—And How to Bring Them to Life

Let’s drop the taboo and talk about what really gets your mind moaning: sexual fantasies. Because yes, everyone has them. Whether it’s a little playful spanking or a full-blown dungeon scenario involving ropes, strangers, and a safe word that sounds like a smoothie flavor, your fantasies are yours and they’re divine.

Some are spicy little daydreams. 

Some are movie plots you secretly write in your head. 

Some are wild rides you might try one day (with consent, condoms, and maybe a clipboard of boundaries). 

Others? They're best left as juicy mental cinema—zero risk, all reward.

So, in the spirit of unfiltered honesty and full-body joy, let’s break down the top sex fantasies people are cooking up behind closed doors (and sometimes in public restrooms, apparently). I’m not here to shame—I’m here to spark your curiosity, maybe help you name your desires, and remind you: nothing’s too weird if it’s wanted, consensual, and hot for you.

1. Power Play: Domination, Submission & the Delicious Dance of Control

Let’s talk about the art of surrender—or domination. 

Whether you want to be the one holding the leash or wearing it, power exchange is one of the most common (and misunderstood) erotic sexual fantasies out there. And no, it’s not just because of Christian Grey and his helicopter.

Studies show that over half of people fantasize about dominating or being dominated. Why? Because giving or taking power in a controlled, consensual space is very intimate. It’s not about pain. It’s about trust. Vulnerability. The thrill of knowing someone sees you, every shadow and secret, and still says: “Yes. More.”

The key here? Consent. Communication. Safety plans. Maybe even a toy or two. Whether you’re getting tied up or tying someone down, make sure you talk it through first—and have a safe word that isn’t “harder.” 

2. The More the Merrier: Group Play & Orgy Energy

Whether it’s a steamy ménage à trois or a full-blown, lube-slicked pile of limbs, fantasizing about multiple partners is wildly common. 

No surprise—who wouldn’t want to be adored by more than one body at once?

You don’t have to be polyamorous or a swinger to crave it. You might just love the idea of being desired, touched, and ravished from all angles. This sexual fantasy can be about indulgence, bisexual curiosity, or simply watching your partner do deliciously forbidden things.

Reality check: if you’re taking this one out of the fantasy sex vault, prep like you’re planning a summit. Boundaries. Testing. Aftercare. Communication. And lube—gallons of it.

Why do so many people fantasize about group sex or orgies? Because it's the ultimate stage for being desired, devoured, and adored from every direction. It can tap into our deepest need to be seen and celebrated, not just sexually, but emotionally. 

For some, it’s about shedding societal rules and indulging in sheer pleasure without limits. 

For others, it’s a playful way to explore fluidity, voyeurism, or power dynamics. 

And let’s be honest—sometimes it’s just fun to imagine a room full of naked admiration aimed entirely at you.

Research backs this up: a study found that nearly 82% of men and 71% of women have fantasized about threesomes. The study highlighted that group sex fantasies are often rooted in themes of being desired, adventurousness, and novelty—three major ingredients of sexual satisfaction. So no, you’re not a freak for wanting a little crowd-sourced pleasure. You’re human.

3. Stranger Danger: Anonymous Sex

Something about the mysterious, nameless hookup turns people on. No emotional labor. No small talk. Just heat, hands, and maybe never knowing their last name.

And here’s the thing: the rise of hookup culture isn’t because society is spiraling into chaos—it’s because more and more people are giving themselves permission to explore this very fantasy. 

I was once at a sex-positive event where a woman shared something that stuck with me: she could only be sexually wild with a stranger. She didn’t want to feel emotionally responsible. She didn’t want to overthink. She wanted to unleash and for her, anonymity was the gateway to freedom.

This fantasy taps into our need for release without attachment, for adventure without emotional logistics. It’s not cold. It’s not broken. It’s a way some of us claim erotic agency on our own terms.

That said, if you’re chasing this one IRL? Protect yourself. Use protection. Share your location with a friend. Meet in public. Don’t romanticize danger, babe—romanticize respect.

4. Fantasy Cosplay: Roleplay and the Erotic Imagination

If you’ve ever moaned while dressed like a sexy elf or made your partner call you “Professor,” you’re in good company. What you’re doing here? That’s roleplay—your backstage pass to embodying a fantasy and playing out desires with full creative license.

It’s not about costumes (though they’re fun); it’s about stepping into a story that gets your pulse racing. 

Whether you’re the boss, the student, the burglar, or the barely-legal delivery guy—it’s all about turning your imagination into action and getting off script in the sexiest way possible.

Here are a few popular types of sexual roleplay you might bring into your bedroom:

• The Doctor/Nurse & Patient: The classic "you're in good hands" scenario, perfect for power exchange and a little medically-inspired mischief.
• The Naughty Student & Strict Teacher: Great for dominance/submission play, and yes, you will be staying after class.
• Cop & Criminal: Get arrested for being too hot to handle, then plead your case in the most indecent ways.
• Boss & Employee: Office romance with a raise in temperature. It’s all business—until it's not.
• Delivery Driver & Housebound Hottie: Pizza? Package? Surprise? Yes, please.
• Handyman/Plumber & Desperate Houseowner: You’ve got a leak. He’s got a wrench. You know the drill.
• Stranger at the Bar: Pretend meet-cute, turned full-blown fantasy.

Sexual roleplay taps into archetypes we’re already familiar with, making them deliciously erotic in the right context. It’s about exaggerating the story, suspending reality, and saying yes to a script that turns you both on.

5. The Location Vibration: Sex Somewhere Else

Beds are great but have you tried countertops? Balconies? Laundry rooms? The thrill of sex somewhere taboo or unexpected is a big turn-on for many.

Whether it’s the thrill of getting caught, the vibe of nature, or just breaking from routine, location-based fantasies are all about expanding your sensual geography.

Just remember: public sex can come with legal risks. Be smart. Be safe. And maybe keep that wild energy for the next hotel room.

But if you’re looking for inspiration, here’s a little dirty dozen of fantasy-worthy places people dream about getting it on:

• Rooftops at sunset
• Elevator (bonus points if it’s glass)
• Library stacks
• Beach at night
• Dressing rooms
• The backseat of a rideshare
• Hotel balconies
• Storage closets (hello, workplace fantasy)
• Movie theaters
• The woods during a hike
• Airplane bathrooms (yes, the Mile High Club lives on)
• In front of a mirror in a public restroom

Whether it stays in your imagination or becomes a scandalous memory is totally up to you.

6. Same-Sex Encounters (Even If You're "Straight")

Curiosity isn’t betrayal—it’s human. Lots of people who identify as straight fantasize about same-sex intimacy. It doesn’t mean you’re confused. It doesn’t mean you need to label it.

It just means your desire doesn’t always color inside the lines. And honestly? That’s beautiful.

Whether this fantasy stays in your mind or becomes a lived experience, let it be yours. Explore it safely, consciously, and with partners who care.

I once had a lover—a beautiful, tender soul—who harbored a deep same-sex fantasy but was too afraid to explore it in the city we both called home. The fear of being seen, judged, or misunderstood by friends or family weighed on him like a wet blanket over his fire. So one day, with trembling courage, he booked a flight to a foreign country—a place where anonymity offered him freedom, and freedom gave him access to the parts of himself he'd locked away.

We spoke often before and after his trip. I encouraged him not to chase a checkbox experience, but to gently, ethically, explore what his body and heart were whispering. To allow space for play, for healing, and maybe for release. 

7. Dildo Play—Because Fantasy Deserves Tools

Let’s talk toys. Dildo fantasies are as common as they are diverse. Some imagine using one solo, others want their partner to watch. Some dream of pegging, others want to be taken.

But like all fantasy play, bringing a dildo into your world is a trust-based experience. It says, “I want more,” and “I want to try it with you.”

So how do you introduce it?

• Talk first: Bring it up outside the bedroom. Keep it light, curious, and open.
• Choose together: Let your partner browse the Valm collection with you. Make it sexy.
• Start slow: Explore sensation. Let it be silly. Let it be sacred.

The dildo isn’t the star—you are. But it’s one hell of a scene partner and Valm's realistic dildos have simply no comparison.

Now, let's me be clear. Nothing ruins a hot scene like friction in the wrong places. Lube isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s the key to comfort, pleasure, and preventing injuries.

Depending on your fantasy, here’s what you might want:

• Water-based lube: Versatile, toy-safe, and easy to clean.
• Silicone-based lube: Long-lasting, great for skin-on-skin, not for silicone toys.

If you’re exploring anal, pegging, or anything involving dildos? Lube. Generously. And keep reapplying. 

Final Word: Your Fantasy Is Valid—Now Go Explore It

Your fantasy doesn’t need a moral. It doesn’t need to be explained. It just needs to be yours.

So dream boldly. Talk openly. Explore consensually. And when you're ready to bring your wildest thoughts into the real world? Do it with trust, intention, and a damn good dildo.

Now tell me—what’s your sex fantasy?